Losing hair by the handful

well, Wed Oct. 22, 14 days after chemo #1, just like my Onc. told me. There is was in my hands in the shower, getting ready for my 2nd chemo treatment. I cried a little and got a grip. Then at the Onc. office waiting, I looked in the mirror to just run my fingers through it and it was flying out. Chad grabbed a wad from the back of my head and that did it. I bawled like a baby. After a minute I felt kind of stupid, I know I am so much more fortunate than so many others. I have so much to be hopeful for, I decided to get my head shaved. I have the wig and wear hats a lot the last two days, just to keep it from getting all over. So, now that I'm dealing with the reality of hair loss now, I can't wait for it to just be gone and over with. I feel OK though, other than really tired. Chad will pick up Brady from school at 3:30 and then I will go take a little nap until supper time. I know I'm blessed. I think my oldest one Brandon, 17, who lives with my mother is taking things hard. He doesn't talk about it much, and when I bring up chemo, or going bald, ( I joke about things a lot) he wants to change the subject. Although, my mom told me that once when she was crying about me, he said "Don't you know my mom's a soldier, she's gonna be fine." I told him he's made me the strong person I am today. He's been through, and put me through a lot. He is suppose to join Job Corp., hopefully, Nov. 1. Please pray this works out, it is my last bit of hope that he will be OK. By OK, I mean able to function in society, have a home, job, car and stay out of trouble, jail or worse. Well, it's almost time for my nap. I'll check in later. Thank to everyone for your support. I love you all.