Monday, December 8, 2008

Five days post Taxol. I had the nerve pain side effects all day Sat. and Sun. It felt like someone was poking me all over with needles and a severe case of restless leg syndrome. I thought I was going nuts. It's better today. It's a dull ache. RLS x 10. Very frustrating. I am going to ask my Onc. if there is any pain meds. for this. I just have the usual Decadron, Zofran, and Ativan. Same as for A/C. I don't even need the first 2. No nausea. I know I'm luckier than most. but this pin prickling feeling is awful. I read about a Neuropath Dr? I'm not sure. Does anyone know about this. I will be dreading next chemo more than ever. 3 more and I'm done. I think I'll have a bilateral mastectomy. I can't imagine doing this again in the future. If my insurance pays for it, I will get tested for the Breast Cancer gene. I already took the blood for it, just waiting on ins. approval, if they don't pay, I won't be able to get the test, it cost $4,000. I don't have a family history that I know of. But, if I do have the gene, they want to do a bilateral mastectomy and remove my ovaries. Whatever it takes. Cancer will not have a chance to get me again.
AND this morning I get a call from my mom, where my 17 yr old son, Brandon, lives. His "girlfriend" has been throwing up and thinks she might be pregnant. I had to calm my mom down. IF she is we will deal with it. I hope she just has the flu, or is lying (which is very possible). She already has a 10 mo. old son whose father is nonexistent. Brandon is going to job corp. in Jan. I told him this is just more reason to go and get a trade. Because if they are going to have not one, but two babies, he will need a good job. I'm glad I don't freak out like my mom, she has made some threats towards the girl and told Brandon he can't see her anymore. I'll calm her down and make her see how she is overreacting. Some things we can not change, we only can deal with them. She likes to think she can change anything to work for her, by intimidation and threats mostly. This is why we didn't talk for over a year. Anyway, pray for Brandon. God has a plan and I'm not sure why he would bring another baby into this girls life with Brandon, who is just starting to grow up, but I guess I shouldn't question HIS will. Besides, we all have free will. They chose to have unprotected sex. God can't control that. She swore to me she was on birth control. Liar. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again for all the prayers and support.