Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm back. I guess I haven't had anything new to say. But, now I will tell you that my last chemo treatment was yesterday, I'M DONE. It hasn't sunk in quite yet. I'm having mixed feelings. Part of me is very glad to be done getting poked all the time and part of me is scared that now that the chemo isn't fighting the cancer, it will get strong again and invade somewhere else.
I will get an MRI in two weeks and then meet with my Breast Surgeon to schedule my surgery. So, it will happen in the next 30 days or so. That is scaring me to death. I keep hearing it's not as bad as I think and it's more emotional than anything. But, I am a very anxious person. I worry and get myself all worked up just from the anticipation of what's to come. So, this is making me almost sick and I feel like I'm floating and can't focus on life right now.
I hope, with time, I will feel differently and when I start getting back to normal, post chemo, I will feel different, too.
I know my body had some healing to do now and I am pretty patient, so I will put my faith in God, and I know a lot of people have gone through this and have survived a very long time. I will be one of those people.

I will get through surgery.
I will go to all of my follow up appointments.
I will not waste my time/life worrying about "what if it comes back"
I will live my life.
I will make each day count.
I will love more than ever